The Man

Once upon a time there was a swell fellow. He was and is there every step of my less than perfect life of decision making. He welcomed/welcomes any and all conversations and always gives pertinent and practical advice when the going gets rough. He has always been a very real example of the unconditional love that I know exists in God and I am profoundly thankful for that and everything he has been in my life.

Happy birthday pops; I love you and am lucky to be your son. You are the man.

Patience vs. Control

So, I have heard time and again that it is important to set a behavioral precident from the beginning in the classroom, but this seems to be no easy task. With the previous post about the over-education of these kids, I am having a hard time developing a healthy level of control in the classroom without being mean about it.

In addition to this, I have many moment where I feel that my patience is wearing thin and I feel as though I then discipline out of frustration rather than for the general control of the classroom in order to promote learning. Because there have been so many helpful responses to previous posts in regards to schooling woes, I thought I would call upon to all once again in hopes of hearing some advice as how best to manage the classroom as well as be patient with the understandable rowdiness of kids.

I can tell this year will be an exercise in patience development, but I also need to not just let the kids walk all over me. Anywho, as usual, prayers for patience are much appreciated as well as some words of wisdom. Thanks to everyone for their prayers, support, and words of advice regarding my recent posts. Love you guys.

A Much Needed Word

So in the past few days I have been finding out how amazing podcasts are. The hours of lesson planning seem to drag on unless there is something else to focus on; in this case, it is podcasts.

I just wanted to share and process an encouraging word that I found in listening to a podcast of a recent Rob Bell sermon. In his sermon on a passage from Ecclesiastes, Rob Bell is talking about the misconception that we have the power to control the outcome of situations and how this lie can often times rob us of our joy. The following is a quote from his sermon that really stuck me in my current situation of feeling as though it is all up to me whether the kids at school learn a lot or have a good time:

"When you face the possibility that your actions may not bring about the result you wanted; when you surrender your desired outcome and acknowledge your powerlessness; now you are free to enjoy and we may even be able to help somebody in the process.”

He goes on to say that we must go into any given situation in which we are placed with the knowledge that you may pour everything you have into a person or group of people and not have the slightest impact that you had desired.

I think that this resonated so deeply with me, because it is easy for me to want to be all things to all people and the reality is and I can only be me. With the constant desire to have all the kids learn everything right away and have them like me and be well behaved, it is tough to stop and realize that there are so many influences on each and every kid and on me as a teacher that I simply need to stop and let go. I hope that I can take these words to heart and keep them near to me in the times that I feel like I am getting nowhere, because the reality is, I need to be ok with getting nowhere as a teacher. I just need to enjoy the ride.

Synopsis by Song: "Let Go" by: Frou Frou

A Glimpse Into Teaching

So, here is just a quick little video I took today to let everyone see how absolutely adorable these kids are... although they still test my patience.

I will have more pictures and videos to come as time goes on... life has just been a total whirlwind these first few weeks.

The Honeymoon is Officially Over

So in a brief conversation with a fellow teacher, Meghan, she mentioned the phases of culture shock and referred to the first stage as the honeymoon stage. In expressing my current feelings of loneliness and anxiety in my new setting, she mentioned that is sounded as though my honeymoon stage of the process seemed to be over.

Her brief explanation of culture shock phases sparked an interest and level of inquisition in me. Because of this, I just did a google search on the phases of culture shock. In my brief time of reading about this on Wikipedia, I came to realize her diagnosis was very much correct. While the phases occur at different rates for different people, it is apparent that my initial excitement and and novel feelings about the Korean culture have seemed to transition into many frustrations and feelings of loneliness.

Being able to read that I am not alone in these feelings has helped me in coping with the reality of my situation. I am undoubtedly in the "negotiation phase" in my cultural adjustment. Much of this transition, I believe, is due to a few variables in current situation.

To start, the stresses of school seem to vacillate between adjusting to the curriculum and expectations of the school as well as the general feeling of a lack on control in the classroom. As previously mentioned, the level of schooling these kids are subject to leaves them relatively restless in class and I easily loose sight of this reality when my patience runs thin due to rowdy moments in class. It is my sincere hope that these variables that are obviously out of my control can be seen as such and not affect my self-confidence, that is not always at the best level to start with.

The next major variable that seems to be producing my current feelings is just the fact that my network of friends is obviously not at the level to which it was while at home. I have always struggled with the need to please those around me, commonly known as a "people pleaser." While this is not always a terrible thing, it has proven to be one of my biggest curses. I struggle so much in knowing who I am without the approval and positive feedback of others. While many people have been kind enough to share kind words with me when I express this struggle of mine, those kind words seem to fall out of my mind so quickly and are replaced with negative thoughts that I contrive on my own. If anyone has any good advice how to combat this, I would love to hear it.

I think the simple fact of knowing that my current state of being is "normal" is of definite comfort to me. Hopefully clinging to that simple fact and gaining support through conversations on skype will be enough to carry me through this rough phase that I am currently in. I appreciate the thoughts and prayers of everyone very much. I miss everyone at home a lot and am just beginning to realize how amazing the community, that you all have provided, truly is. I love you guys.

A Quick Rant for My Emotional Health

I have to start by saying that I feel rather sheepish following up my joyous last post with a rant from the stresses of school. I really was feeling peace beyond understanding considering that I am living on the other side of the world doing a profession I have no training for and when I put it like that, I would say that I do still have a relative sense of peace, but I am feeling rather worn at the moment.

I also want to present a caveat and apology of sorts to start: I apologize if the following post is not being culturally sensitive and I am not trying to make a sweeping generalization. Rather, I am simply stating some of what I am seeing in 1 school, in 1 city. However, I have heard it is not just at the school I am teaching at. Here it goes...

I don't understand a system built on overworking your children to achieve success when the reality is that no one is really succeeding in a true sense. Parents are presented with false information about grades in order to appease them when the reality is, the kids can't learn the material at the rate at which it is being presented. Honestly, the kids go to school all morning and afternoon and make it to the hagwon (a type of after school school in which I teach) utterly exhausted.

They have no interest in learning more and I don't blame them. If I were 8 years old and had to go to nearly 10 hours of school a day, I wouldn't be interested either. I am passionate about teaching because I think its the key to so many freedoms, but this education doesn't feel like freedom to me. It feels more like a big game of charades taking place just to make people feel like their children are learning. I am stuck in an awkward place of doing a job that is in theory beneficial but feels far from it.

I am convinced that parents really do put there kids through this school because they want the best for them, but its just not playing out that way. Its painful to see the inability of people to see how the pressure is tearing a generation of children apart. Suicide rates are off the charts because of this pressure and its not just here in South Korea that this pressure is felt from my understanding. I hope this lie that endless working and over-education will create happiness will be realized as such and done away with.

I guess more than anything, I am experiencing in a tangible way how broken our world is. Something in me yearns for the time and place that we educate for the sake of freedom and collective good. For anyone who reads this, as you think of it, please pray for me, that I would be able to be someone who teaches out of love for the kids and that I would have clarity as to how best encourage the students. More so, pray for these poor kids who are just worn out.

Forgive me if I am entirely off the mark in saying much of what I said. I am simply trying to process a situation which appears so broken from my perspective.

Synopsis by Song: "World" by Five For Fighting

I've Been Putting This Off

Oh man, it has been two weeks since I first arrived in Korea. I must start by saying that I plan on posting on this blog more often, but I have really been putting off this first post because I feel like there is more to say than I will be able to express in one coherent post; but here is my best attempt...

After a few long flights and fun conversations with randoms folks along the way, I arrived in Incheon South Korea at about 7pm local time. After grabbing my luggage and working my way through customs, I exit the terminal in the most movie-like scene of my life to date: there was a huge crowd of people and a man holding a sign with "James Broom" printed on it. I soon came to find out that he would be my taxi driver for the one hour Seoul crossing adventure. After grabbing my bags from me and loading them into his car, I thank him and get a confused smile in response; he doesn't speak English (not that he should, I am in Korea after all).

As we drove through the seemingly endless skyline of Seoul, he occasionally rattled of tidbits of Korean into his walkie-talkie-enabled cell phone and would roll down the windows a crack for a few seconds. I was thoroughly convinced he was complaining to his fellow cab drivers about the stinky American that he picked up from the airport (I smelled horrible after a 12 hour flight with no air conditioning). Needless to say, I made to my hotel after a solid hour of relative silence.

I was welcomed by my fellow newbie (Meghan) and the director/owner of the school and asked out to a "welcome home" dinner. The meal was one of the most pleasant surprises yet; we had thick cut bacon, kimchi (a traditional dish served with nearly every meal consisting of fermented cabbage), and multiple other tasty items all cooked up on a grill in the middle of the table. It was delicious. Before coming, my biggest hesitation was the food, I was pretty nervous I was going to have a year of PB&Js ahead, but it will be anything but that. Don't get me wrong, there is a host of adventurous dishes to try, but the staple items are pretty safe with my stomach.

The next few days consisted of shadowing teachers on their last few days, to get an idea of what we would be doing and attending an orientation at Sogang University in Seoul. The school I am teaching at is composed of about 2/3 native Korean English teachers and 1/3 foreign English teachers such as myself. Because there were 2 native teachers who recently left, there were two native Korean women (Kaylee and Lisa; not their real Korean names, but names given for them to be addressed by students at the school) who attended the orientation with Meghan and I. It was so much fun to be shown Seoul by people who had lived in the area most of their lives. Kaylee and Lisa, if you read this, thank you. Because of them, I was able to experience the immense Seoul subway system with relative ease the first time and have henceforth had little to no trouble on it. Once again, thank you!

Here, I must get a little cheesy and interject my first major lesson realized here in Korea. In our time with Kaylee and Lisa, I was able to observe similarities that truly gave me hope that someday we will all come to see the humanity, though spread around the globe with a variety of cultures, are truly so similar. When walking up the stairs at Sogang University, I noticed that Kaylee was doing the usual skip a step when walking up the stairs that I do too. I was never taught to take two steps at once, I just naturally came to do it once my legs provided me the physical ability. We are all humans and are naturally so similar, it is my prayer that I may act accordingly and throw off the stereotypes that hinder me from loving my fellow human brothers and sisters.

To this point, I have explained through my first week of training. As the first weekend approached, I was a little nervous as to what I would be doing with the time off. I am lucky enough to have Nancy Schafer, a friend from Bethel, a mere 5 miles away and we were able to connect at the subway station and beebop our way around Korea University for most of Saturday. The campus is absolutely gorgeous and very castle-ish. I look forward to all the adventures we are going to get to take part in, in our shared 6 months here in Korea. We have already made plans to develop a Korea "bucket list" to be sure we actually venture out and make the most of this foreign experience. Nancy, you're a life saver.

I was also lucky enough to have a friend (Cassandra) here who is already a part of a local church with an English service. In light of this, I have been able to attend there the last two Sundays and develop another network of (hopefully) friends. Cassandra, thanks for taking me and Nancy under your wing for the first visits.

As for the teaching thus far, I would say I feel as though I am a young lad attempting to drink from a fire-hose. Curriculum, lesson plans, and energetic kids are a lethal combo when you have zero experience or education in the field. However, I feel as though there is nowhere to go but up from here. I must also add, that though it has been stressful, I absolutely love the kids and think that they are adorable (aside from the ones that me want to tear out my hair... I'm trying hard to love them)

A fun side not from the teaching so far: I have come to realize that my bodily follicle endowment passed from my loving father is not the norm here in Korea. In fact, I have come to be known by some as "monkey teacher." Yeah, not the most endearing nickname, but I'll roll with it. On that same note, I have one ADORABLE student who has taken a liking to petting my arm hair whenever I reach over her shoulder to point at her notebook. I should be moderately embarrassed, I think, but I just find it cute more than anything. The best part is, she doesn't do it in an obnoxious "look at me" kind of way, she just starts petting my arm while she looks down at whatever it is that I'm pointing at on her paper.

So, in sum, I am currently sitting in my apartment with more stories than can be fully realized through a blog. A stressful week of drowning in school acclimation ahead is all neutralized with the realized that God has been faithful to date in giving me this opportunity and will continue to be from the best I can tell. The shift in environment has really made me intentional in my relationship with God and I have experienced the peace that passes understanding more now than ever. I'm so glad He is gracious in receiving me as one who so sporadically finds Him worth my time, grace is a pretty cool thing, thanks Pops.

I cannot start to thank everyone enough who has dropped me a note, facebook post, skype call, and most of all prayer. I know that it has made the overwhelming start to teaching more peaceful and bearable. I love you all dearly and miss the community you have been to me.

Synopsis by Song: "This is Home" by Switchfoot.