So in a brief conversation with a fellow teacher, Meghan, she mentioned the phases of culture shock and referred to the first stage as the honeymoon stage. In expressing my current feelings of loneliness and anxiety in my new setting, she mentioned that is sounded as though my honeymoon stage of the process seemed to be over.
Her brief explanation of culture shock phases sparked an interest and level of inquisition in me. Because of this, I just did a google search on the phases of culture shock. In my brief time of reading about this on Wikipedia, I came to realize her diagnosis was very much correct. While the phases occur at different rates for different people, it is apparent that my initial excitement and and novel feelings about the Korean culture have seemed to transition into many frustrations and feelings of loneliness.
Being able to read that I am not alone in these feelings has helped me in coping with the reality of my situation. I am undoubtedly in the "negotiation phase" in my cultural adjustment. Much of this transition, I believe, is due to a few variables in current situation.
To start, the stresses of school seem to vacillate between adjusting to the curriculum and expectations of the school as well as the general feeling of a lack on control in the classroom. As previously mentioned, the level of schooling these kids are subject to leaves them relatively restless in class and I easily loose sight of this reality when my patience runs thin due to rowdy moments in class. It is my sincere hope that these variables that are obviously out of my control can be seen as such and not affect my self-confidence, that is not always at the best level to start with.
The next major variable that seems to be producing my current feelings is just the fact that my network of friends is obviously not at the level to which it was while at home. I have always struggled with the need to please those around me, commonly known as a "people pleaser." While this is not always a terrible thing, it has proven to be one of my biggest curses. I struggle so much in knowing who I am without the approval and positive feedback of others. While many people have been kind enough to share kind words with me when I express this struggle of mine, those kind words seem to fall out of my mind so quickly and are replaced with negative thoughts that I contrive on my own. If anyone has any good advice how to combat this, I would love to hear it.
I think the simple fact of knowing that my current state of being is "normal" is of definite comfort to me. Hopefully clinging to that simple fact and gaining support through conversations on skype will be enough to carry me through this rough phase that I am currently in. I appreciate the thoughts and prayers of everyone very much. I miss everyone at home a lot and am just beginning to realize how amazing the community, that you all have provided, truly is. I love you guys.
James – so there you are, on the other side of the world. Moving to a new town is tough, moving to a new town across the world can be really tough. The cultural differences will frustrate you, and as in all parts of the world, there are good people and people who suck. Sometimes if you take a step back and think about where you come from, it helps put things in perspective. Think about the people you may have seen where you come from … you know, the ‘immigrants’ that you may have passed by without notice, that person from somewhere else that looked as if they needed help. Right now, they are probably going through the same emotional & cultural challenges as you are... millions of them across the world. Over time you’ll find your place there and the funny thing is that one day, when you get back to your home, there will be some things you will miss about the place that frustrates you now … That is how we are, humans, finding & making the place we are home. The inevitable fact is, because who & where you are today, you will never be the same person. Sometimes that’s a good thing.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, if can somehow manage to get a fish at the end of your line, that will help too. Good luck friend.